This Is What Dreams Are Made Of

As of the 4th of July I decided to quit drinking soda specifically root-beer. And now this is what my dreams are made of:

 

Toilet Paper Carry

All my blog posts are awkward stories about awkward things, so here is a story about going to the store and buying toilet paper. As a college student I shop in themes. Sometimes I shop for food, sometimes I shop for ice cream, sometimes I shop for toilet paper. Two out of the three of those are done on Saturday nights around 10:30 pm. But anyway, our apartment has a system of buying toilet paper that prevents us from having to buy it a ton but every once and a while you get sent to the store to buy toilet paper. Its really a simple process but a process I don't enjoy. I walk in to Wal-Mart and head straight to the tower of off brand toilet paper that is where you see all your friends. You then grab the toilet paper and start the trek back to the front. But don't even think for a second you have grabbed a cart to put it in, you just have to carry it to the front. You have a few options here, grab the edge and carry it, or wrap your arms around it and just bear hug it to the front. You pass up the ice cream aisle because it humanly impossible to carry toilet paper and ice cream. You bear hug it all the way to the front and then buy it thinking you are relieved of your problem, but then the next problem arises toilet paper doesn't really fit in a bag so you are now bear hugging it all the way to the car, you again attempt to just hold it just by the little corner plastic but that only lasts a few seconds before it slips and almost falls or your fingers cramp up, you continue on wards bear hugging the toilet paper all the way to the back of the parking lot because you are trying to get in all your steps and you avoid eye contact with all people, just in case you know one of them and are caught hugging your toilet paper. But then you redeem yourself when you drop kick your toilet paper into your apartment.
.....This is how everyone buys toilet paper right?            

The Laundry Room

It's high time I let the world know of a fear I deal with on a normal basis. Most of you reading this just thought of like six fears of mine off the top of your head. Discard that thought and let us deal with a pressing issue....My fear of the laundry room. The laundry room isn't really a scary place (well that's not completely true...side story...my laundry room last year was a little sketch. Once when I opened the door there was this kid standing there, doing his laundry imagine that. It freaked me out so much that I awkwardly said "I am going to do my laundry" yeah that was weird for everyone involved.) it's just what you would expect it to be. Good Ol' coin operated money sucking washers and dryers that have washed one too many loads of gross college laundry. Fun fact: sometimes clothes actually smell worse when they come out, it's like a magic trick! The reason I have a fear of the laundry room is completely irrational, its mostly based on the fact that I could see someone in the laundry room the same time I am there. For example I just walk into the laundry room with a basket full of dirty laundry planning on doing my laundry in peace, and there is someone else there. What do you say..."So, come here often"....."Want to hang out later and fold laundry."...."I noticed all your unmentionables in a pile there, do you always wait till you wear them all before doing laundry.".....It's just has a lot of potential for awkward situations. Not to mention you are doing laundry and doing laundry usually means that you wear whatever is in the bottom of your drawers, the stuff you only wear when all your roommates leave for the weekend. So there you are wearing some not so flattering clothes carrying a laundry basket back and forth from your apartment to the laundry room and you face the next pressing issue...not dropping anything on your various trips back and forth. Heaven forbid you become 'that girl' who drops some of her *ahem* underclothing on the sidewalk and doesn't even know it. Plus you have to be speedy quick when getting your laundry out of washers and dryers I would probably rather wash my clothes by hand then find my clothes in a pile on the table where someone decided to remove them from their proper washer/dryer place. This fear makes my laundry doing quite obsessive. Here is my usual plan: 1. Do laundry at really random times, Tuesday afternoon everyone else in class equals high time to do laundry. 2. Always check laundry room for empty washers before carrying your laundry all the way to washer. 3. Save up all laundry till there is nothing else to wear and then do four simultaneous loads to replenish your wardrobe. 4. While carrying your laundry take three steps and then check for any falling items. 5. Dream of the day when you actually own your own washer and dryer and you can really do your laundry in peace.

Bribery Part 2

So let's just skip to the facts here. Sometimes you still go buy your screaming child a McDonald's Happy Meal all just in hope that tomorrow will be a better day. And sometimes I still go to Bluebird after the world's worst doctor appointment and just call it motivation. The End.

Bribery

I am pretty sure bribery is frowned upon. According to Pinterest quotes if you  bribe yourself with food you are treating yourself like a dog. Lets be honest with ourselves dogs are kind of cool, aren't they. But in reality bribery is pretty powerful. Think about it, if you tell a small child that their good behavior will be rewarded with a McDonald's happy meal they are like 76% more likely to behave. That number isn't technical and probably false, I don't think my guiding of small humans professor would approve of that statement but he also says things like "don't say don't" And "no nos" so can we really trust the guy? Anyways bribery is pretty darn powerful. And that's why I use it on myself probably like twice a day. "Kelsey if you go to class you don't have to be ashamed of the root beer you are going to drink on the way to work." "Kelsey if you are nice to your friends you can go play again tomorrow." "Kelsey if you don't scream/cry/kick/bite/yell at/ or run away from the doctors at your two appointments this week you can go out to Bluebird restaurant. " 
And that's where we will end this. Wish me luck! 
Important side note: No my class isn't really called Guiding of Small Humans, its actually called Child Guidance

Welcome to my "L"

So have you ever seen the show Reba, once Barbara Jean from Reba said "welcome to my 'ool' notice there is no 'p' in it, lets keep it that way." We'll maybe she should have said welcome to my "L" notice there is no poo in it, lets keep it that way. Because yes, when I went swimming the other day someone pooed in the pool. I didn't really no what was going on at first. The life guard was walking around the pool talking to people in it, and people started to get out. I still was clueless but large quantities of people were leaving the pool while talking to the lifeguard. I knew something was up.  I was standing on the outside of the pool by the time I got the news from the lifeguard. "Um someone pooped in the pool and its going to take a LONG time to clean" Bless your little heart lifeguard who was going to have to fish out that little prize!
I was gagging instantly. I started to think of all the facts I knew about chlorine. *gag* does it really work *gag* brain search: facts on chlorine. *gag* ways to sanitize my body *gag* at least I didn't step...*gag* let's not even have that thought.....it could have been pee *gag* *dry heaving.* 
Now that you the person reading this is also gagging from reading the word gag 47 times I think I will end there!

#3 Reason Why I Love Utah State

BASKETBALL!!!
In reality this should be number one! But once you pay thousand of dollars to a local institute of learning, your education is rather important, but I digress, Utah State basketball is epic.
Take a listen for a moment to our student section singing the Scotsman...

Isn't that just awesome!

This is a picture of one of my favorite basketball players! Kyieshan Reed...He's pretty darn cool, but injured!  :(

But we can still watch videos like this...

Lucky for us we have players like Spencer Butterfield, Jared Shaw, and Ben Clifford...

just a few of my current favorites.

Clifford plays with his mouth open, and makes the funniest faces so its only right that I made a collage of his faces..

oh and this is Baked Bean (its the nickname my roommates and I gave to Spencer Butterfield, yeah we are on a nickname basis)...

Tonight we play BYU. Let us bask in our win on Saturday night just in case this game doesn't go as planned tonight! :)

#2 Reason Why I Love Utah State

Sorry for the delay, but in case you were wondering I still love Utah State, #2 reason being really smart professors.

Okay that may sound terrible, and sometimes it is, but some professors are just awesome!!! They are so smart in their area, and want to share it with you, you end up soaking up all their information as fast as you can! Take my humanities class on culture for example, my teacher is so smart and eloquent in speaking and makes concepts clear and understandable, its actually fun to be in class. Although some times while I am trying to figure out all the things she is talking about regarding other countries cultures and trying to google words she used to find the meaning I find myself feeling very much like that kid from Idaho. But then I figure things out and learn tons about culture and the way we act and such.
It is great to try and soak in all the great information they have, and the best part is that if you listen and are that interested in class, all assignments and tests will be a total breeze! Hooray for actual learning!