This Is What Dreams Are Made Of

As of the 4th of July I decided to quit drinking soda specifically root-beer. And now this is what my dreams are made of:

 

Toilet Paper Carry

All my blog posts are awkward stories about awkward things, so here is a story about going to the store and buying toilet paper. As a college student I shop in themes. Sometimes I shop for food, sometimes I shop for ice cream, sometimes I shop for toilet paper. Two out of the three of those are done on Saturday nights around 10:30 pm. But anyway, our apartment has a system of buying toilet paper that prevents us from having to buy it a ton but every once and a while you get sent to the store to buy toilet paper. Its really a simple process but a process I don't enjoy. I walk in to Wal-Mart and head straight to the tower of off brand toilet paper that is where you see all your friends. You then grab the toilet paper and start the trek back to the front. But don't even think for a second you have grabbed a cart to put it in, you just have to carry it to the front. You have a few options here, grab the edge and carry it, or wrap your arms around it and just bear hug it to the front. You pass up the ice cream aisle because it humanly impossible to carry toilet paper and ice cream. You bear hug it all the way to the front and then buy it thinking you are relieved of your problem, but then the next problem arises toilet paper doesn't really fit in a bag so you are now bear hugging it all the way to the car, you again attempt to just hold it just by the little corner plastic but that only lasts a few seconds before it slips and almost falls or your fingers cramp up, you continue on wards bear hugging the toilet paper all the way to the back of the parking lot because you are trying to get in all your steps and you avoid eye contact with all people, just in case you know one of them and are caught hugging your toilet paper. But then you redeem yourself when you drop kick your toilet paper into your apartment.
.....This is how everyone buys toilet paper right?